American Idol Result Part 1 of Too Many

Chuck: Everyone calls Crystal “mamasox?” I never listen to the judges…save Simon.
Lorrie: Ryan acts like an ass sometimes
Chuck: Simon asks Ryan if he wants his job The Judges “save”…not again
Lorrie: Judge’s save! You want them to have “The Judge’s Take-Back” so Lilly could come back
Chuck: Evidently the group couldn’t learn the song so they had to call Cook in. Wait, what are you talking about? Lilly is safe this week.
Lorrie: Chuck, are you off your meds again?
Chuck: I’m high on life, Lorrie. BTW, David Cook is not Mick Jagger…not even Michael Jackson or Michael Jordan
Lorrie: Wonder why DC is singing this? Thought Idol winners are supposed to push their latest hit?
Chuck: Why didn’t the group do a song? It’s a last minute substitution I tell you.
Lorrie: I think DC has hair plugs
Chuck: some men have no trust in their Male Pattern Baldness.
Lorrie: You may be the only one who is friends with the ol’ MPB
Chuck: He’s going to Africa? Wow, everyone gets to go to Africa: Geldof, Bono, and Cook Wait…is it a superband in the making?
Lorrie: only if you add Sebastian Bach in the mix
Chuck: Bach? Hasn’t he been dead for a 2-300 years?
Lorrie: Dude, he was in the supergroup with The Nuge!
Chuck: The Nuge? The old Domino’s pizza character?
Lorrie: You’re starting to irritate me. The Noid…that brings back memories of a summer spent babysitting three kids who had a gigantic, blow-up noid and I had to blow-up by hand- er, mouth.
Chuck: You were supposed to Avoid the Noid
Lorrie: I would have, but he had a slow leak, thus requiring a great deal of attention
Chuck: 1st idiotic Ford commercial of the season!
Lorrie: oh, how I’ve missed the Ford commercials. Not. Casey faked the flu so as not to humiliate himself in that commercial. Nice move, Casey
Chuck: Wow, watching singers have others use photoshop…exciting TV!
Lorrie: Bottom 3…are you feeling lucky in your predictions?
Chuck: Yeah, I want a paint job “designed” by an AI loser. PAIGE in bottom 3 YES!
Lorrie: Well, I’m not upset that Paige Miles is in the bottom 3, even though I didn’t pick her.
Chuck: Lee is safe
Lorrie: agreed
Chuck: I forget who I picked…but Paige, and Andrew had to be 2 of them
Lorrie: We both picked: Katie, Andrew and Tim.
Chuck: ok
Lorrie: Paige was your #4. SIOBHAN! My girl! Ryan speaks of Adam Lambert as though he’s been successful. He hasn’t. He’s just been obnoxious. Woohooo! Siobhan is safe!
Chuck: Siobhan is no Adam Lambert. Adam Lamert IS the lead singer of Dead or Alive reincarnated….yes, even though Pete Burns isn’t dead.
Lorrie: The Davenport Denier is safe!
Chuck: As long as 12yo girls can vote…Aaron is safe
Lorrie: well, crap. Already, we’re both wrong again
Chuck: Andrew…please…I am comfortable with both of them leaving. Damn. I am wrong this week
Lorrie: Tim, take a seat and pass the dutchie to Paige…you both need it.
Chuck: Who is singing? They have an Orthodontist on stage this week?
Lorrie: no comment.
Chuck: Katie in the bottom 3 next?
Lorrie: Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise!
Chuck: Ah, I am in the South. Commercial. I am buying a Toyota…and giving it to the person I just purchased a huge life insurance policy for…
Lorrie: LOL
Chuck: Paige is sitting in Andrew’s chair. I was saying “WTF!” That’s a quote from Paige. She doesn’t look like an orthedontist
Lorrie: how many different ways do you plan to spell orthodontist this evening?
Chuck: The advantage of being able to edit after
Lorrie: lol
I think Orianthi (sp?) is the chick who was supposed to be on Michael Jackson’s tour.
Chuck: This just in…she was Michael Jackson’s orthodontist. Well, that’s kinda what my dear wife just said. She got that outfit from Joan Jett’s closet. Speaking of Joan Jett’s closet…..
Lorrie: Catherine confused orthodontist and guitarist?
Chuck: lol…evidently the confusion is my “attempt at humor.” She auditioned with MJ?
Lorrie: Oh, the confusion also was my attempt at humor. We really suck at humor tonight.
Chuck: Speak for yourself. I really liked the Noid/Nuge juxtaposition.
Chuck: Did she have to beat MJ at HORSE?
Lorrie: I think she just had to bring Oxycontin as payment.
Lorrie: ewww, too soon?
Lorrie: On the next break, Ryan will play Suck, Suck Goose with the bottom three. They all suck as contestants.
Chuck: lol Duck DUCK goose
Lorrie: …maybe in YOUR world.
Chuck: and welcome to it. CSox is safe. She was upset watching her dad? Obviously, do not watch the tape of death before singing
Lorrie: Sit down, Dirtysox, you’re all good this week. I like how she’s setting the record straight again. Girl’s got a backbone on her!
Chuck: Ryan should never ever go off script. Stevens is safe????
Lorrie: Katie…stand up and walk it on over to the bottom three. I don’t CARE what Ryan is doing with the order!
Chuck: I bet it’s Lacy…If it is Casey…I’m ok with that
Lorrie: Refrigerator Mike the Boy George impersonator could be the #3
Chuck: Kara & Randy switched places? Casey & Lacy? and it will be Casey?
Lorrie: Did Michael Lynche even perform last night? BWAHAHAHA!
Chuck: lol good one! I love the people. I was thinking the same joke as Ryan…shoot me
Chuck: Why is Lacy wearing a weight lifting belt?
Lorrie: she needs it for stability to hold up that huge-ass flower in her hair. OK, real quick: who’s going home?
Chuck: Paige or Tim and neither will be saved Tim
Lorrie: I say Tim.
Lorrie: Save that Save this week, judges.
Lorrie: Holy Crap. Damn!
Chuck: The “Vote for the Worst” group is kicking ass this year
Lorrie: LOL. No kidding. Maybe he really WILL get to sing “pass the dutchie” next week.
Chuck: They will not save either Lacy or Paige even though Simon thinks Paige is worth saving
Chuck: I really hate watching commercials. Can we do this 10pm to 11pm next week?
Lorrie: No.
Chuck: Lots of room for negotiation. Thanks.
Lorrie: Just call me The Negotiator.
Chuck: You don’t look like Jackson or Spacey
Lorrie: DiDi reminds me of Brooke from last season. Or whenever she was on.
Chuck: She is supposed to…with some Megan thrown in
Lorrie: Kesha?
Chuck: Who is that singer? She is wearing Siobhans boots. she is Pink sans talent.
Lorrie: She tries to sound kind of like Fergie. Only suckier.
Chuck: Forget Tim, Paige, and Lacy…vote her off
Lorrie: She tries to look like Lady Gaga, only trailer trashier.
Chuck: OH god…white rappers…THAT’LL make it better
Lorrie: Who the hell are those two losers? Now Kesha is channeling The Village People?
Chuck: If I was on stage with her, I’d demand one of those TV heads myself. Oh, she’s edgy..she kicked a tv…a well prepared faux tv
Lorrie: It’s a sad day when blah blah blah can be words in a song.
Chuck: They’re roommates? Someone is getting more room tonight! I always look for the sunny side.
Lorrie: rah rah ah ah ah, on the other hand, now THAT’s some lyrics I can dance in my car to.
Chuck: boring boring boring. Of course. It’s Lacy
Lorrie: gawd. this irritates me to no end.
Chuck: Anyone following at home…choose the opposite of what I pick
Lorrie: They won’t use the save. Of course, we’ve already established that.
Chuck: They will not save Lacy They’re not even listening
Lorrie: Oh yeah, judges, gather ’round for the obligatory huddle, even though you know you’re not saving Lacy.
Chuck: Katie is singing along…does that mean she is eligible to be sent home?
Lorrie: My husband just pointed out that Lacy looks like Liza Minelli
Chuck: Lacy is too much like Didi who is too much like Sibhon who is too much like Crystal…to save. Your husband is old. I would have said she looks like Judy Garland because I am, well, old.
Chuck: Please send Katie home so she will stop crying at the end of every show
Lorrie: Katie needs her binkie and her pacifier. It’s gonna be a long night for her. I bet Lacy could sing Lucinda Williams-type music really well.

photo credit: SparkCBC