Deal Breaker

She said it! “DING! DEAL BREAKER!” I think there should be a specific bell one can ring on a first date that makes a loud gong sound where little red flags jump up all around. A metaphorical “easy button” that either party can push that indicates “game over”, “deal breaker”, I don’t know, maybe it could have a little robot voice that say, “Danger, Will Robinson…danger”!

For you singles out there reading this, what are the “deal breaker” statements that a date could make or has made, where inwardly you wanted to throw up a red flag and go home?

I decided for this week’s article to take my “deal breaker” question on the road.

Ginger, age 31, at Beacon Road Starbucks: “In the first hour of a date, the guy I was with asked if I would be his ‘girlfriend’!” Tom, age 36, at Tampa Church Street: “Either, so what kind of car do you drive or so how much do you make?” Tami, age 23, in Ybor City: “I had a guy on a first date once ask me where I bought my purse—just saying, red flag!” Sarah, age 24, in Ybor City: “I once had a guy after three hours of our first date ask if I had a sister or girlfriend I could bring on our next date!” Bill, age 42, from a bar in Channelside said, “My red flag is when a woman tells me in the first 15 minutes of dating, ‘by the way, I’m Christian’.” He said it is a red flag because usually at that point in the conversation the date begins to probe and judge him.

It is kind of funny that one of the most important questions and commentaries on someone’s life, their Christianity, can sometimes be wielded like a sword to become a major deal breaker.

Keeping with the theme of “deal breaker” I asked my Homeless Prayer Support group if they had, or have ever had, deal breaking decisions they had to make for their families. One woman said she knew it was finally time to leave her husband when he stopped hitting her and started threatening their child. No job, no place to live, and no family nearby, she simply said, “Even for better or worse, it was still a deal breaker…and we had to go!” One Hispanic man in the group said that his deal breaker was when he found out his employer was not sending checks to his family as he promised he would.

It is true that Christ says we must forgive our neighbor seventy times seven. And yes, Jesus asks his disciples to turn the other cheek when they are struck. But Jesus also asked Satan to get behind him and turned the temple change tables when he saw his father’s home being desecrated as a market. I believe that there are deal breakers that Christ instills in our souls. I believe they are words, ideas and actions that lead us away from love. Love of ourselves, love of others and anything that would lead our gaze from the love of our creator.

So what are your deal breakers?